I read once about a Buddhist monk who every day took a handful of sand, blessed it, and then took a walk, scattering the grains as he went. That image has stuck with me for a few reasons. I love the idea of being an intentional force for good, but I also find quite interesting the role that matter plays in its dance with unseen forces, like love. Were those grains of sand changed after being blessed? If so, how? And when they were scattered, did their presence have the ability to change anything? Well, who really knows. Maybe the greatest changes were found in the monk himself when he enacted this process.
I have more questions than concrete answers when it comes to this stuff, but I will say this: “stuff” matters. The material world affects us. Our homes are not passive, and what we choose to surround ourselves with very much has a bearing on our moods and even our health. We are in relationship with our things whether we want to be or not.
Most of us (myself included!) have a fairly transactional relationship with our home and our stuff since we look to surround ourselves with things that provide material function. This is absolutely necessary, as you probably DO need a bed that is somewhat comfortable, a blender that works, and a bathroom for your guests. Some people though understand their things on a whole new level, as they intuit the power that things have on us – where they’re placed, the lighting, the colors, etc. Have you ever walked into a house and been blown away by how peaceful or artsy or (fill in the blank) it made you feel? I forget in my own house that I can try to craft moods that will serve me well. Of course, I have two kids who seem to constantly be making messes everywhere, so there is that. But even still, what would happen if we dreamed some and imagined how we want to feel? What would a room look like that would make you feel a certain way?
Before we dive into this thought experiment I just want to say: yes, maybe ideally you have the money to purchase that chandelier that makes your heart sing. But you know what? You can create moods on a shoestring and some creativity, so don’t let a limited budget limit you on this.
First - Picture a room in your house that you want to be different (my inner monologue says, “every room!” No, Shen, just pick ONE). Choose the mood you want for it. (PEACE) Close your eyes and feel that mood. What does that look like in a room? Picture soft lighting dancing on the wall, a dreamy canopy around a bed or chair, a few of your favorite books, a new pillow with relaxing colors, a rich accent wall. Homes are not just physical spaces; they are emotional retreats that have the ability to invite you to unwind and relax. If you have a hard time coming up with ideas, check out Pinterest. Yes, it’s a relentless black hole so be careful and do NOT talk down to yourself and compare while you look. Just draw inspiration and dream for a second. Start small. Get a plant that makes you happy. Paint an accent wall. Replace a light.
If you have kids and pets, here’s a thought (preaching to myself here, more than anything): can you keep one tiny spot just for you? Can you have a chair that’s yours somewhere? Maybe hang a gauzy canopy above it and tell the kids that is your SACRED SPACE, where mom goes sometimes, with a book and a glass of wine and her favorite slippers.
Our homes are where boundaries are maintained and boundaries dissolve. I’m trying to discover afresh how to dissolve the boundaries in my own family in the kitchen, over good food. It’s not easy, and we do eat fast food and junk food sometimes. But when I get the chance to make a good meal and light a candle and turn down the lights, everyone settles in and the tales of the day come out.
Our homes aren’t just structures with stuff. They are catalysts for our very being. You don’t have to be in a fancy house at all for it to be full of love, warmth, and wellbeing. A snug reading corner bathed in soft light or a whimsical staircase can add a touch of magic to your daily existence.
I wonder what would happen if we all dreamed a little and made just one thing slightly more positive-mood-boosting in our homes?
No idea, but I’m going to try.
